What Valentine's Day Really Means to Women

I recently watched a rerun of The Office titled "Valentine's Day." In it, the characters received - or didn't - traditional gifts of flowers and stuffed animals (one gal even received a key to her beau's house). Not every woman on staff received a delivery and by the end of the day, there were hurt feelings and long faces. (My favorite was the gal whose fiance, when challenged why he didn't send a gift, told her that the day wasn't over yet and she was going to get the best sex of her life that night. A note to men everywhere: Women don't think of sex as a gift.) The show was hilarious because it emphasized the major stereotypes of this "holiday made up by greeting card companies trying to sell more stuff and making guys feel like they have to buy something for their wife or girlfriend," as many men (my husband) proclaim.

I believe most men dislike, if not detest, Valentine's Day - not so much because of the greeting card company issue, but because they don't understand the emotional connection women have with the occasion. Furthermore, men are terribly befuddled when it comes to selecting the right gift. Is a simple gesture enough? After all, money is tight these days - is it really necessary to spend $150 or more on an elaborate floral arrangement? How hacked off will she get if you skip giving her a gift?

Fact of the matter is, men and women view Valentine's Day very differently. Women want an affirmation that they are adored; they really appreciate it when their special guy is willing to play by the unspoken Valentine's Day gift-giving rules (even though this same man may feel that the occasion is a bunch of crap). In general, women respond to the occasion emotionally - the day is all about feelings.

Men, however, view the Day in the same logical way they view the rest of their world. To have to get tangled up in all that emotional stuff... oy! What a hassle. Guys would rather ignore it and hope it all just goes away.

Finding a happy medium, where you both feel appreciated, can be tough, but it is possible. It helps if you remember each other's perspective and ensure that your expectations are realistic.

Here's hoping that you and your sweetie had a nice Valentine's Day, something that pleased you both and celebrated the things you love about each other.