Remembering a Wonderful Woman

Yesterday a couple hundred people in our community said farewell to a wonderful woman and I was among them. We honored Ruby, a strong, dedicated woman of God and pastor of a small Pentacostal congregation. I didn't quite realize the depth and breadth of her influence until the service.

I came to know Ruby when she was a housekeeper for me earlier six or more years ago (back in the good ol' days when I could afford help). She'd be at our house all day, cleaning and doing laundry, refusing to iron inside in air conditioning and always staying in the garage, even in sweltering heat and humidity. Many times she'd bring people with her - maybe a few children who needed tending, often Aunt P. who helped her iron and made me laugh, once in a while one of her flock (usually a young woman with hopeful eyes).

Ruby wasn't a full-time housekeeper - she just needed some extra income to support her family and flock. Several times a year she'd travel to visit family or preach at a revival in Alabama. She raised four biological children and five stepchildren, adopted two more and took in many others who needed help. Turns out, she was many things to many people, answering to many names: Momma, Grandma, Pastor, Ruby, Miss Ruby (as my children knew her), Mizz Johnson (that's how we pronounce Mrs. in the South).

Having never attended a service in a Pentacostal Church, much less a funeral service at an African-American church, I wasn't sure what to expect at her service. What I found was awesome! The front of the printed program had a photo of Ruby dressed in her finest preaching attire and was titled, "Home Going Celebration for Paster Ruby." Home Going Celebration. That's exactly what it was. The other funerals I've attended have been for white people, held in funeral homes or churches, with remembrances and always, always with tears.

At Ruby's service, it was all smiles and nods and right hands in the air as people swayed to music and shouted, "Yes!" Just like the program stated, it was a celebration. Tears had been shed before and will be shed again, but not yesterday. The music was fabulous and inspiring and made me stand and clap my hands or tap my feet and dance in my seat. It came as no surprise that the prayers were passionate pleas invoking God to give us strength in Ruby's absence and praising Ruby, who is right where she wanted to be, who went "Home" in time to celebrate Christmas with Jesus.

I want a funeral service like Ruby's. No tears, no sadness, just knowledge that I'm in a better place, with lots of funny stories (there are loads of them). With lots of great music that makes people stand and clap and dance in their seats.

Ruby, I'm blessed to have known you. You are missed.

Homemade Gifts that Your Friends Will Like - Really!

I'm still wringing my hands over our holiday gift list and having limited resources this year, throwing money at the problem isn't an option. I'm having to rely on creativity, not cash.

Fortunately, yesterday I had a "Eureka!" moment and came up with a gift idea for friends: Wine Crate Fireplace Kits. (Many thanks to my friend Chris, whose invaluable suggestion made the idea work!) The genesis of the idea was an email I received from Park Wine Merchants, our neighborhood indie wine shop (see my Nov. 23 post about patronizing local merchants). In addition to special deals on several wines, the owner mentioned that he was selling wooden wine crates for $5. I thought, "Hhmmm. Wine crates are pretty cool and look pretty classy. What could I do with them? They're definitely the right price." Ten minutes later I was talking about them with Chris, who suggested filling them with firelogs made of newspaper and then the eureka thing happened and my problem was solved. Throw in some fireplace matches and I'll have attractive and unique Christmas gifts for about $8 each.

The Wine Crate Fireplace Kits will work as a family gift (when we give an entire family one gift), but I must admit that they're geared to adults and no kid is going to be interested in or feel grateful for newspaper fire logs. Other times I've made gifts that the entire family enjoyed. For example, several years ago I gave friends a homemade S'mores Family Pack. They consisted of four long-handled roasting forks, graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate bars. Each pack also included a little booklet with s'mores history, fun facts and eight or ten different "Gourmet S'mores" recipes (I made the booklets and used paper supplies from Sam Flax to make them look professional-ish). The pyromaniac in me thought these would be good family fun, not to mention being a yummy and nostalgic treat. I don't recall what they cost but the price was very reasonable (the only challenge was finding enough roasting forks). These went over well with adults AND kids.

Over the years I've made other gifts for individuals and families: knitted scarves, created Southern "Good Luck for the New Year" kits (with hot sauce and bags of black-eyed peas, rice and corn meal, plus instructions on how to prepare them) and even framed quotes from famous people (different quotes, each geared specifically to the person who received it). Maybe one day I'll have money to throw at Christmas presents - and when I do, I'm going to have everything gift-wrapped by someone else! Until then, I'll be scanning emails for good deals on wine crates and the like.

Tell us about some of the gifts (successful or not) that you've made for friends and family. After all, I still have names on my list...

Shopping Season isn't Over Yet - More Gift Ideas

Thanksgiving leftovers are gone, we survived Black Friday and Cyber Monday, and now that it's regular ol' Wednesday, time to consider more gift ideas. Remember: One for them, one for you.

As far as I'm concerned, pigs aren't cute. This Pig Cooking Lid is an exception. As the name implies, it can be used to cover pots. The snout is actually two steam holes - a clever nostril application if there ever was one! I'd like it just to have for covering dishes in the microwave that would otherwise splatter (it's safe for both microwave and dishwasher). Check out this multi-functional gift that goes for $18 at MoMAstore.org and support the arts while you cook.


Urawaza: Secret Everyday Tips and Tricks from Japan - This sounds like a fun and helpful little book, from what I've read about it. Various descriptions include the following: "The subject of popular TV shows and numerous books in Japan, these unusually clever solutions to everyday problems have never before been published in English - until now! Urawaza collects more than 100 once-secret tricks, offering step-by-step directions and explanations in an eye-catching package as unconventional as its contents... Here are some examples of the wisdom found in this book: Want to turbocharge your sled? Spray the bottom with nonstick cooking spray. Can't find someone to water your plants while you're away? Place the plant on a water-soaked diaper, so it slowly absorbs water over time." Ingenious! Check your favorite bookstore; amazon.com offers it for $14.95.

Chocolate Calculator - Need a touch of whimsy in your world? Then this is for you. It's a real working calculator shaped like a chocolate bar; even the packaging looks realistic (it's wrapped in foil!). My friend Peggy is a serious chocoholic and fourth grade teacher - how cute would this be in her classroom? It's only $5.95 at Kim and Jason Lemonade Stand.

Gifts that Really Give! This handmade capiz shell ornament is attractive in its own right. When you consider that it benefits artisans who participate in a social services organization in the Phillipines, it becomes even more beautiful. It is just one of hundreds of items sold by Ten Thousand Villages, which since 1946 "... has supported the work of literally tens of thousands of artisans in over 37 countries in Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Middle East, making [it] one the largest fair trade organizations in North America. Working with 130 artisan groups, we purchase fine pieces from craftspeople with whom we have longstanding, nurturing relationships... helping to bring dignity to their lives." Cost of the ornament: $10. Cost of feeling good because you helped needy artisans around the world: Priceless.

Burning Bookmark - For the devoted reader who stays up all night - if it takes her - to read the latest installment of the Twilight book series, here is the ultimate bookmark. Flames seem to virtually jump off the page when you read that fast! A terrific stocking stuffer for the book lover in your family. Just $5.99 at perpetualkid.com

... And speaking of perpetualkid.com, you might also want to pick up another fun stocking stuffer: The microphone sponge. You know you sing in the shower. We know you sing in the shower - we can HEAR you! We're not suggesting that you quit your day job, but if you're going to sing your heart out, then grab this sponge and really go for it! Also $5.99 at perpetualkid.com

How to Bake a Juicy, Delicious Turkey

I've roasted at least two dozen turkeys in my life and they all turned out pretty well - but three years ago my girlfriend Chris introduced me to a sure-fire technique that she learned from her sister, which cooks the turkey thoroughly yet keeps it very moist and juicy. (A moist, juicy turkey is hard to achieve, due to the extended baking time.)

The secret? Wrapping the turkey in its own aluminum foil "pouch" that contains chicken stock and/or wine. Steam from the liquid keeps the meat moist while the bird cooks evenly inside and out, at 325 degrees for 15 minutes per pound. When an hour of cooking time is left, open the foil so the turkey can brown.

This method has ALWAYS been successful for me and it makes the process easy and stress-free. Some tips to ensure that your turkey turns out just right:

* Grease the inside of the foil with vegetable oil, butter or a cooking oil spray so it won't stick to the turkey; try to ensure that the foil isn't touching the top or sides of the turkey when you crimp the foil closed to make the "pouch."

* To keep the bottom of the turkey from sticking to the foil, I make a bed of celery ribs and carrots and lay the turkey on them. These veggies also add a nice flavor to the turkey drippings (along with the wine and/or stock), which I use to make gravy.

* Never stuff the turkey with dressing before baking. It lengthens the cooking time, which can dry out the turkey, and leaves too many opportunities for improperly cooked food issues to occur. Bake your dressing separately and if you like it really moist, add more liquid to your recipe.

Please leave a comment with your best Thanksgiving dinner cooking tips and/or recipes. It's always nice to find new ways to make the cooking easier and to have something a little different and new to add to the table on festive occasions.

Buy From Independent Merchants and Help Them Survive this Lousy Economy

Business is tough everywhere, in every category. Maybe bankruptcy attorneys are doing well?, but nearly everyone else is treading water in the deep end of the pool and can barely keep from going under.

This is especially true for small, independent retailers. If sales are down 2% at Wal-Mart, imagine how much of a drop the little guys are experiencing! I patronize locally owned and small businesses whenever possible, because it's rewarding to have a relationship with the business owner and feel as though I'm contributing to his/her success. This post is dedicated to some of my favorite small businesses; let's do what we can to keep them going through the holidays and beyond.

Park Wine Merchants - Tom opened his wine shop a few years ago and quickly became one of my favorite local retailers. His legions of fans voted Park Wine as Central Florida's favorite wine store in 2007. As Tom states on his website, "Park Wine Merchants specializes in hard-to-find boutique wines from around the world. Our collection ranges from $4.99 to $450." Furthermore, he solicits deals from his vendors and emails the offerings to customers, with a first come, first served policy. Trust me - if you wait too long, you're gonna be out of luck! Check out parkwinemerchants.com or visit your local, independent wine shop.

Etsy - When it comes to indie merchants, Etsy.com is the mother ship. According to the website, since Etsy launched in 2005 more than 100,000 sellers (from all over the world) have opened Etsy shops; "Etsy is an online marketplace for buying & selling all things handmade. Our mission is to enable people to make a living making things, and to reconnect makers with buyers." Thousands of handmade items are offered - jewelry, clothing, housewares, paintings, dolls, edibles - the list is virtually endless. Best of all, when you shop at Etsy you're supporting an Indie business. One of my favorite Etsy vendors is Jen Segrest with her Schmaltzy Craftsy store, where she sells pincushions that are works of art (prices range from $8 - $55; item shown is $28). Another great Etsy store is Bykali; I love her belt buckles. Today she has 56 different belt buckles for sale, including this Nail Burst in Black buckle ($30 plus $2 for shipping in US). There is much, much more, so block out at least 30 minutes and discover this gem of a website.

Handmade edibles are welcome gifts and when you're shopping for the person "who has everything," it's an alternative that is always the right size and color! If you're not planning to spend time in your own kitchen, let other indie cooks/bakers/candy makers do the work for you. Henrietta's Art of Baking in Key West makes one-of-a-kind coconut strips that make my mouth water just thinking about them. The strips come in several flavors - original, Key Lime, chocolate-covered and Key Lime chocolate-covered, priced between $6 and $7.50 per bag (each order must consist of at least six bags). Henrietta also sells Key Lime-Orange marmalade and Key Lime-Orange HOT marmalade. My favorite local chocolate shop is Farris & Foster's, a family-owned business where you can buy delicious chocolates, find great gift ideas and even hold chocolate parties (both of my children celebrated a birthday with a party at Farris & Foster's). One of their best goodies: Triple Chocolate Caramel Popcorn (and you MUST try the chocolate-covered potato chips and chocolate-covered mini oreos).

The last indie suggestion for today: Park Ave CDs, a local alternative kind-of music store that sells CDs, LPs, t-shirts and other cool and random stuff. The shop is affiliated with Think Indie, "... a consortium of independent record retailers determined to bring true music lovers back to the stores that make a difference." Park Ave CDs has been around for more than 20 years and obtained almost a cult-like status about local music lovers because of its broad music offerings, free on-site concerts and it's overall hip-ness. Why buy CDs at a big-box store when you can soak up some fascinating local flavor at a great little place like Park Ave CDs?

Support your independent merchants this holiday season whenever you can - it's good for you AND good for them.

More Great Gift Ideas

Here are more gift ideas for the holidays. As in the first post, these items are interesting, uncommon, clever, affordable and sure to delight the people on your gift list.

Niaouli Butter Stick - I've never run across an ointment or cream that smells as wonderful as this butter stick. It's a blend of oils and butters in a soy base that quickly absorbs into skin to moisturize and heal. This and other Skin Free products are ideal for delicate and sensitive skin, and are cruelty-free, vegan and contain no perfumes or harmful chemicals; I recently took some to my Mom when she was in the hospital and it was very calming to her dry skin and helped erase the "hospital smell." A one oz. stick is $7.99 and free shipping is currently available for purchases of $25 or more at skinfree.net

Capri Blue Zip ID Case - Vera Bradley remains a popular brand of handbags, totes, umbrellas, stationery, travel gear and more. My 15-year-old daughter and her friends like it; I own a toiletries set and wallet; I see college students carrying the backpacks. Obviously, the appeal extends across ages and lifestyles. Although the Zip ID usually costs $10 (a great price for a popular brand), the Capri Blue design is being retired and has been marked down to $5 (the Capri Blue Clip Zip ID is only $4). Take a peek at verabradley.com

"Procrastinators" t-shirt - A great t-shirt is always a good gift and some of the best I've seen in ages can be found at threadless.com. I'm a big fan of the "Type Tees" - be sure to check out the haiku shirt! Prices usually run $12 - 15.

Cinnamon Toothpicks - Looking for a nostalgic gift? Experts tell us that the more senses you affect, the stronger the impact you make. Cinnamon toothpicks instantly transport me back to 9th grade, when my best friend and I used to make these by soaking wooden picks in cinnamon oil. If we didn't have time to make them, we'd buy a small paper packet of 15 or 20 amd chew on the toothpicks till our mouths burned. Take your walk down memory lane at oldtimecandy.com, where a tube of 15 toothpicks is 99 cents or a box of 20 tubes (each with 15 toothpicks) runs $15.99. The website also sells oldies but goodies like Necco wafers, Fruit Stripe gum and wax lips.

Thinking About Black Friday Makes Me Blue

Next week is the official start of the Christmas shopping season and I'm dreading it. Our gift budget is about $25 and that needs to cover our two teenaged kids, ten or so relatives, 18 to 20 dear friends, the mail carrier, paper delivery person, teachers, neighbors and who knows how many others. A little quick math and our per-person budget is 25 to 50 cents (if they're lucky).

This year Black Friday will be Bleak Friday. Black-and-blue Friday. Singin' the Blues Friday. Not just for retailers, but for me, you and lots of people we know. It's just not going to be the Christmas we'd prefer to have.

But maybe I can help: During the year when I stumble across good gift ideas, I add them to my list (yes, I keep a list because my memory is shot). Most of the items are affordable, and more importantly, they are interesting, uncommon, clever. Keep visiting, because I'll be posting items almost daily.

Please note: I'm not a salesperson and don't get paid for mentioning these items. They're listed here because I like them, period. If companies start sending me samples to review or list, I'll tell you. But I'm not indebted to anyone and my opinions are unbiased.

I'm also going to include ideas for homemade gifts - some fun, some thoughtful or sentimental. These kinds of gifts often prove to be the most meaningful and memorable. After all, when you can't make the holidays cheery and bright by opening your wallet, you can open your heart and achieve something even more magical.

Fortune Cookie Journal - Teenagers actually like these! I've given two as gifts to teenagers (16 year olds; one boy, one girl) and both thought the journal was very cool. $8 each at spoonsisters.com

You Park Like S*** static cling parking critiques - What cynic wouldn't love these? This is another product that I gave as gifts and each recipient howled with laughter. Not appropriate for everyone, but the Type As in your life will enjoy putting them to use. Be sure to read the full description on the product page. $5 for a pack of six, by Mixed Species on etsy.com

Monogram Address Labels - My friend, Carolyn, told me about these labels, which she gave to her neighbors last Christmas. I gratefully stole her idea and bought some myself. The Monogram labels are $10 for 100; basic styles are just $8 for 250 - and the quality is very good. I also bought personalized postcard notes for my teenagers from American Stationery and my strategy worked - they're FINALLY writing thank you notes!. The site offers loads of classy personalized notes, labels, stickers, napkins, etc. Visit americanstationery.com

Flying Wish Paper - Everyone has dreams and wishes, and this fabulous gift encourages you to look to the future and be hopeful. Each $15 packet of Flying Wish Paper comes with 50 sheets of paper (on which you write your wish), 25 wish platforms (on which you place and set fire to your configured wish paper), matches, pencils and instructions. You burn the wish paper and it rises in the air, then slowly floats down when the flame is extinguished. My description just doesn't do this justice: Visit flyingwishpaper.com to see instructions and photos. I gave this to a friend who was getting remarried (she and the groom both had children from a previous marriage, and the gift was intended for the newly blended family). The positive message is good karma during our tough times.

We're Living in Historic Times

The day after the 2008 presidential election, I emphasized to my children how historic the election was, a first-of-its-kind moment that will appear in history books, of which countless books will be written and centuries of great thinkers will analyze and theorize.

"And you're alive to see and hear it happen," I told them, struggling to find a way to make my words break through the wah-wah-wah they hear whenever my mouth opens. "This is important!"

"I know, I know." Pause. "Can Caroline come over after school?"

Fine. Actually, our family has talked about the election, the candidates, proposed amendments and much more on quite a few occasions; my children are far more attuned to politics than I was as a teenager. (I was a preteen when Nixon left the White House in disgrace and I hate to admit how little I knew then about his impeachment and the surrounding circumstances.) I 'spose Watergate is included in the history books my kids read...

Politics, the Web, our economy, medical advancements, societal changes, war - it's all fascinating. I look forward to living it all, surviving the ups and downs and celebrating every bit that comes our way.