Creative and Affordable Gift Ideas for the Shopping-challenged

It's time to post some gift ideas, which is my contribution to Christmas shopping karma (I think I just created a paradox). You see, I have sought out other gift idea lists and it's only fair that I share some of my own. Keeps it all in balance and I need that, considering that I've mixed Christmas with karma.

So here are some of my favorite things. Are they gifts I purchased? Maybe - or maybe I needed a little present for myself. Nonetheless, I'll try to ID the items I've seen first-hand versus the ones I only saw online (the ol' reality vs. concept approach).

First, here's the Gorillapod from Photojojo. As stated on the website, the Gorillapod is a "...fun and pocketable tripod supports a Point & Shoot camera just like a mini version of a traditional tripod. But bend its tentacle-like arms it'll stand on uneven surfaces, wrap around poles, tree branches, or railings, and grab onto nearly any object in sight." Only $23! For SLR camera owners they also offer a Gorillapod SLR Zoom for $50. Photojojo is an amazing website for photography lovers, so check it out and sign up for the email newsletter.

Fred Flare has some great bargains right now, with free shipping if you spend $75 and great bargains. It's one of my favorite go-to spots for stocking stuffers... for example, the Breakfast Floss, which they call "the most important floss of the day." Three different flavors come in the $12 set - waffle, bacon and coffee. Yum. (I even got one for my stocking)

A newcomer to my list of online shopping sites is Click! Design that Fits, a great little shop in Seattle. I found this awesome Night Carafe (made in Japan by Tampopo) for people like me who always take a glass of water to bed. Just $15 (yeah, I got one of these for me, too).

I have more gifts and shops to suggest, so check back. Happy shopping!

Waiting in the Dark to Shop on Black Friday

I can't believe I'm going to do it. Head out before 5 a.m. to purchase a laptop at Best Buy, planning to arrive as the door opens at 5 for me and the other crazy people hoping to snag a great deal. My shame is great.

You see, I AVOID stores the day after Thanksgiving. I'm not blessed with much patience and mobs of frantic shoppers - well, that and a stick in my eye will make my day, you know what I mean? I've nearly completed my holiday shopping, most of it done online. (I'm a huge fan of free shipping!)

But my son, who will soon graduate from high school and leave for college, needs a laptop. He and I've done our homework and found a good, smart, Consumer Reports-endorsed computer that is just what he needs. We either buy it direct from Toshiba or save some money and go to Best Buy. With the crazy shoppers. And so we join the crazy people.

At least I have some dignity. After all, we didn't camp out. We stayed home and enjoyed a nice family day and a delicious turkey dinner. Plus, I'm getting a massage later in the morning. I should return to a zen-like state by the end of that hour. But if they don't have that computer...

Photo by Dmitry Mayatskyy

Do You Know Which Colleges Outside Florida Accept Florida Pre-paid Tuition?

Were you aware that Florida pre-paid college tuition funds could be spent at hundreds of colleges throughout the US, not just in the state of Florida? Who knew? Certainly, not me.

A list of approved colleges and universities is available on the Florida Pre-paid Plans website. As long as a school meets designated parameters, your pre-paid funds can be used to pay for tuition nearly anywhere.

Prepaid college plans are also known as 529 plans. Here's how 529.com describes the plans and their tax benefits:

Two Types of Plans

There are two types of 529 plans: traditional college savings plans and pre-paid tuition plans. College savings plans are the most common. Essentially, you contribute funds to the plan over time and can withdraw them tax free to pay for your college education (or other qualified education expense) wherever you decide to attend. Pre-paid tuition plans allow you to "lock-in" the price of education at today's prices. Many of these plans are flexible and allow you to attend whatever college you want. After all, it's hard to predict which college your child will go to in 18 years.

Tax Advantages

...Earnings from 529 investments aren't subject to federal income tax. If you invest in your state's 529 plan you often don't have to pay state income tax on your 529 earnings too. Some states even offer upfront tax benefits for investing in the plan.

If you live in a state that levies an income tax, it may make sense to invest in your state's plan. However, most 529 plans are open to all United States residents. You should shop around to find the best plan for you.

Unlike many retirement savings plans, there are no "income phase outs" to prevent high net worth families from investing in 529s and reaping the tax benefits.

Having plenty of options is important when it comes to college selection: The more choices you have, the more likely you are to identify an ideal fit. It's good to know that prepaid doesn't mean "Florida only."

R.I.P. Gourmet

A moment of silence please, for the passing of Gourmet, the 70-year-old Conde Nast foodie flagship publication. We'll miss you.

Today's announcement that Gourmet is falling victim to the miserable economy is a stunner. I know a tempest rages in print publishing these days (my husband is a journalist, so I'm very aware of the situation), but imagined that consumers' continued interest in food and cooking would allow Bon Apetit and Gourmet to weather the storm.

I'm astounded at how many magazines have closed shop in the past year - it's akin to a plague on our cultural landscape. And as for newspapers... don't get me started. While I was a "can't start the day without reading my paper" gal for decades, that's not the case today. The quality of our local paper has eroded faster than my memory!

I'm blue about the news. Let's all raise a toast to the demise of the foodie bible, may it rest in peace.

It's Liver Awareness Month!

October is National Liver Awareness Month and I say we should all join in the fun. We're all about liver awareness in our house, given that I have Hepatitis C and had a liver transplant three years ago. But in all honesty, I didn't know much about the liver and it's critical functions until mine broke. These days, I know some liver stuff, even a few doctor-y liver words, so let's mark this occasion with some Interesting Liver Facts:

The liver...
* Is the body's largest vital organ
* Filters toxins from blood - more than a liter every minute
* Performs over 500 different chemical functions
* Regulates glucose
* Is about the size of a football
* Weighs about three pounds in the average adult
* Can regenerate itself, in some cases

Livers do all this and much, much more, yet let's be honest - livers aren't sexy and don't nearly get the attention that other organs receive. But we can't live without a liver and need to take good care of them so they'll last a lifetime (mine didn't and getting a new one was a pain, literally and figuratively!).

Be good to your liver - no drugs, watch alcohol intake, eat a healthy diet and get vaccinated whenever hepatitis vaccines become available (Hep A and Hep B have vaccines now; they're working on one for Hep C and other letters of hepatitis).

Also, please be an organ donor and donate blood. The life you save could have been mine.

Photo by Chance Agrella

The College Search and Four Important Lessons for Parents

I was searching Google blogs this afternoon and ran across this gem, which I urge parents to read: Four Fatal Errors Parents of College-Bound Students Make.

The post on College Search GamePLAN - The Blog is short, sweet and oh-so-right-on-the-money. It's a quick read but in case you don't have time to click on the link, here's a quick overview of the key tips offered:

1. Make sure you have a sound financial strategy in place before beginning your college search.

2. Billions of scholarships DO NOT GO UNCLAIMED each year - furthermore, the way scholarship funds are allocated by colleges means that value of the scholarship could actually be deducted from the financial aid package, resulting in a zero net gain

3. It's a fallacy that only highly visible (top U.S. News ranked colleges) offer the best educational opportunities

4. College selection and admissions has become so complex that many families don’t start soon enough - start at the beginning of a student’s junior year

Please note: This article was written by Howard Verman, director of Strategies for College, and published in collaboration with Lauren Starkey of Examiner.com

Image by Cecile Graat

Student Loans: Borrower Beware!

Michelle Singletary, the personal finance (and nationally syndicated) columnist for The Washington Post, issued some dire warnings in her September 20, 2009 column, After College, Student-Loan Sinkhole Awaits. According to Singletary, the current financial crisis in mortgages, business lending and credit cards also extends to student loans, as follows:

The percentage of those loans in default grew to 6.7, up from 5.2 percent in 2006. The figures represent borrowers whose first loan repayments came due from Oct. 1, 2006, to Sept. 30, 2007, and who defaulted before Sept. 30, 2008, according to the U.S. Department of Education.

In other words, the department reported, nearly a quarter-million student-loan borrowers went into default during that year.

Gulp. And there's more...

Go to StudentLoanJustice.org and read the stories of "victims" living under crushing student loans. Also go to http://www.defaultmovie.com and watch the poignant trailer from "Default: The Student Loan Documentary." The feature-length film chronicles the stories of borrowers who, years after leaving school, are trying to repay loan balances that have ballooned to two or three times the amount they borrowed.

For so many, the heavy borrowing is unsustainable... Until there is a sustainable solution, there has to be a sea change in the view by many parents and students that college at any cost -- no matter how unaffordable -- is worth the years of financial burden and perhaps ruin.

The more I learn, the more discouraged I get. People at either end of the economic spectrum have access to money to pay for college, but if you're somewhere in between - even struggling to pay bills and keep your head above water financially - you'll be hard pressed to afford a college education for your child. Borrower beware, indeed.

How Does Your Child's College Search Differ From Yours?

Things change... and so it goes with the college search. Protocols that existed for generations have changed dramatically over the past 25 to 30 years and our children are conducting their college searches in very different ways than we did.

Take me and my son, for example. We didn't discuss colleges when I was growing up, outside of college football, that is (my parents didn't attend college). I chose my alma mater because it was convenient (in the city where I lived) and affordable (I put myself through school).

Conversely, we've discussed college with my son as long as he can remember. When it comes to the college search process, he and I are learning together because I never participated in any of the usual college planning activities. Furthermore, we are doing a great deal of research online and when I was in college, computers were still a novelty and NO ONE had a home computer.

Leave a comment and tell us about your college search. How "old school" was it? What aspects are more different today? What hasn't changed a bit?


Laptop photo by Simon Wong

Tuition-free Colleges are Real!

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus - and this time he's bringing a tuition-free college education. You don't necessarily have to be destitute to be eligible, either. It seems too good to be true, but it is.

In researching these colleges, a good place to start is the list of 8 Tuition-Free Colleges on mentalfloss.com. Be sure to note that tuition-free doesn't necessarily mean expense-free: "Free" may not extend to room and board, incidentals, travel, etc. Furthermore, "free" might require work-study. Some schools offer limited majors, such as the Curtis Institute of Music. Nonetheless, if paying for college is a concern then taking a look at these schools is a worthwhile investment of your time.

As I dug around looking for an up-to-date list of tuition-free colleges, I found that the list of eight schools is frequently cited but not exhaustive - by a far stretch. A far more extensive list is 100 Free College Rides You Don’t Need Daddy to Pay For on advantageedu.com. Be sure to review this list! Although it may be dated (it was posted in January 2008), much of the information is sure to still be valid. Besides colleges in the US the list also includes a handful of schools in other countries.

Please leave a comment if you know of other colleges and universities that have tuition-free programs or other programs to help offset college costs.

Photo by Thomas Campbell

What Resources Do I Use Most for Our College Search? "The Choice" is One of the Best

Today I'm going to introduce you to The Choice: Demystifying College Admissions and Aid, a New York Times blog whose lead writer is Times Education Writer Jacques Steinberg (pictured at left). He also authored The Gatekeepers: Inside the Admissions Process of a Premier College.

Since its inception in March 2009, dozens of posts have been added from an array of experts, including William R. Fitzsimmons, dean of admissions and financial aid at Harvard College, and Marty O'Connell, executive director of Colleges That Change Lives, as well as first-hand accounts of the college admissions/acceptance/aid process from six young adults who are now college freshmen.

I have spent hours on this blog, reading through posts, comments, Q and As, and more. I find a lot of merit in learning about others' first-hand accounts, which is why I highly value the information available inThe Choice.

What kinds of resources have you found to be helpful? Please leave a comment and tell us about them.

The Worst Sweet 16 Party Idea I've Found (So Far)

My daughter's birthday is next month and we're planning a Sweet 16 birthday party. Because I'm her parent, any suggestion I make is "bad," "stupid" or some other form of social suicide. So I turned to the Internet for non-lame ideas.

Wow! Some of the suggestions on the web, apparently posted by teens or their parents, aren't just awful, they're totally inappropriate. Let me start by telling you that I'm not a prude: We allow our daughter to watch Gossip Girl, albeit with much discussion about how the show is unrealistic and the behavior is out of line and shouldn't be emulated by any teen.

Now that we're all on the same page, get a load of the theme I found on one website: Cocktail Party. What?!! The mom who posted the idea noted that frozen drinks (non-alcoholic, of course, so "parents don't need to worry") would be served from plastic martini and margarita glasses. And mom and one of her friends would wear white button-down shirts with black slacks and vests and serve as bartenders for the evening.

Are you kidding me?! Allow me to suggest some games for that party. How about a round or two of "Can You Pass a Roadside Sobriety Test?" or "The Best Pick-up Line Ever?" Perhaps mom can give them a drink in a to-go cup, so they can enjoy it as they drive home. Good times.

Some people argue that a Shirley Temple sets a bad precedent for children. I think the sugar is the worst part of that concept. But a Cocktail Party theme is just flat-out wrong. Shame on mom!

Photo by Jasper Greek Golangco

How Will Paying for College Impact Your Federal Taxes? A New Section of the IRS Website Has the Answers

There is nothing easy or simple about the US tax code. So when you start paying for college and want to take advantage of IRS deductions or credits or whatever, figuring out FAFSA is a piece of cake by comparison.

But to help taxpayers sort through the quagmire, the IRS has added Tax Benefits for Education: Information Center to its website. The new section has info about various different tax breaks in one place, making it easier to find and, dare we hope, understand. Included are tax credits, tax deductions, savings plans, scholarships and fellowships, and exclusions from income.

Looks like I'll be calling my accountant.

Photo by Darren Shaw, http://www.whitespark.ca

A White House Staff Report: "Barriers to Higher Education"

Hot off the press from the White House Task Force on Middle Class Families is a look at why the average American has such a tough time paying for a college education.

In an appearance today at Syracuse University, Vice President Biden made a town hall presentation about the importance of a college education to our country's middle class. Two key issues are getting into and paying for college.

"Barriers to Higher Education" examines how much merit (ability) determines access to a college education, "Because a clear pathway to a college education is a clear pathway into the middle class." Beyond the issue of merit, the report also delves into questions about the high cost of higher ed and struggles many families face trying to afford a college education.

The report includes links to previous reports and studies on the topic and is worth a read; let's hope some initiatives are put into work soon - say, in time for Fall 2010?!

Photo by Christian Carollo

Finding a College for Your High School Senior

As my 15-year-old daughter would say, "Good luck with that."

OMG - who knew that a bright, talented 17-year-old young man would be so reluctant to engage in a process that will define four important years of his life? Where he lives, how he spends his time, the foundation for his career (hypothetically, anyway). This is big stuff. Important stuff. And HE'S DRAGGING HIS FEET AND IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY!

Apparently I'm not alone. It's not just boys - I hear that girls are similarly afflicted.

As much as I'd like to ignore the matter and leave it in his hands (a tough-love tactic: you-made-your-bed-now-lie-in-it), I won't. He doesn't have the judgment to realize the consequences, even though next year, magically, he's going to have enough good sense to be able to survive on his own at college. God help us.

I'm going to chronicle some of our experiences and want to invite anyone and everyone to join in the discussion by leaving comments. WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET!

Let's start at what some experts consider a second-stage of the college search process - considering different colleges (we're going to leave the "what's your major" discussion alone for now).

Loren Pope wrote a terrific book, "Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think About Colleges." Don't be surprised if you think about college differently after reading the book. Previously I was focused on finding a good school that offered my son's preferred major, particularly something VERY AFFORDABLE, and I expected that he'd end up at the state university about two hours away that is a flagship in our state university system.

But after reading this book and considering things on a broader scale, the paradigm shifted. Maybe a small college would be a feasible option that offers him the chance to more easily create close relationships with professors and be challenged in different ways. It's not that this isn't possible at a large college or university. But a small college offers a different atmosphere and he might really thrive at one.

Be forewarned: Pope is considered to be a bit anti-Ivy League and the focus is on small schools. It's still worth a read. Be sure to visit the Colleges That Change Lives website, too.

The book also helped me realize that we might be able to afford something besides a state university, that small colleges might be a financially viable consideration after all. But more about that on my next post.

What books can you recommend for college-seeking students and parents? Please leave a comment.


Photo courtesy of Garrison Photography

A Fast, Creative Way to Dress Up the Walls

I fell in love today.

Ever heard of Blik? Me neither, until yesterday. Blik makes and sells surface decals - incredibly awesome surface decals "...for the commitment phobic."

The designs are up-to-date, imaginative and seemingly easy to apply. The decals are extremely affordable, as well. I can easily imagine them in a nursery, home office, teenager's bedroom or dorm room.

The decal that may me go "oooh" is a design from SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design), Mid-Century Gothic. The webpage for this design showed two orders used together to create a sort-of headboard in turquoise and gold. Ooooh. It would make even the dullest dorm room shine, for only $120.

Check it out and leave a comment. I want to know what you think.

I'm an iPod Slacker Because of My Teenagers

It's not my fault. I'm blaming this one on the kids.

You see, I could have cared less about iPods and MP3 players and the whole deal a few years ago, but then I actually listened to someone's iPod and, well, the clouds parted, the sun's rays beamed down on me and angels sang. Well, not exactly angels - some band was signing and the clarity of the music hooked me right away. I was ready for an iPod.

But all those directions! I'm not a Mac person and didn't understand the nuances of the single vertical line versus the double vertical lines versus the arrow - and that was only to turn the iPod on. Downloading the software was easy enough, but understanding how it all worked, what should be turned on or off to download or upload - it's too much. Not what I wanted to invest a lot of time learning. So my kids did it for me.

The result? I'm still helpless. I had to erase my iPod for some reason and now it's useless until I load it again. So my iPod has idled on my desk for months, empty. I haven't even been able to use the docking station I received for Christmas (yes, it's been THAT long). I resisted asking my kids for help: After all, isn't it better to teach me to fish than to give me one to eat?

Too bad. It's another year and more before my son will leave for college. My daughter is only a high school freshman. No need to learn the technology now, when it will just evolve again. Fiddle dee dee. Tomorrow's another day. (Insert your own lame phrase here.)

Like I said before... it's not my fault, so don't blame me.

They Should Call It Cutting and Ironing

My kids are on Spring Break this week and while my son is at crew training camp, I've brought my daughter and her best friend to visit my sister and brother-in-law. My sister loves to quilt and has just about every sewing tool made, so we've been working on a couple of sewing projects. One project will be a gift for neighbors who are expecting their first baby (I'm "decorating" some cloth diapers that they can use as burp cloths); the other is aprons for use by parents who provide food at my son's high school crew events (we spend a lot of time feeding the rowers).

I haven't sewn in years and it's fun to discover how much I remember (and what I've forgotten). Fortunately, the sis is far less rusty than I and together, we've done a pretty decent job between us.

Without a doubt, the thing I've forgotten most is how much time is spent measuring, strategizing, cutting and ironing, especially ironing! Holy cow. Since when did sewing make you work up a sweat? How is it that I can spend eight hours on other tasks and 30 minutes at the machine?

From here on out, I'm gonna call it like it is: Cutting and Ironing. It's not sewing. There's no sitting in this effort. You stand, you think, you iron, you cut, you swear, you iron, you swear some more. And when it's over, you have six diapers and four aprons.

Cutting and Ironing. It took a lot of work, yet in the end was very rewarding. We'll have to do it again soon.

Photo by Anne Norman

Unrest in Northern Ireland

Ten months ago my husband and I visited Ireland - my husband was on a business trip and I tagged along for fun. It was my first visit to the Emerald Isle and I was hooked. It's beautiful, and as green and full of cows and sheep as everyone describes it to be.

I was especially taken by the Irish people, who were friendly and kind and always willing to offer directions, which we asked for often (although the Irish give terrible directions). We spent plenty of time driving around lost in a country that doesn't seem to see a need for roads wider than one lane(!), but that's another story.

While we spent most of our trip in the Republic of Ireland near Dublin, we visited Northern Ireland a couple of times because of its close promiximity (the border is about an hour-and-a-half from Dublin). The official border crossing station was gone, but we could see where it had been. In Northern Ireland we saw memorials to people who had died fighting in the country's civil war. Everything seemed so peaceful, though, that conflict was unimaginable - you know, maybe just an exaggerated tale like the Irish are prone to spin.

But two incidents in the past week have changed the peaceful Northern Ireland we visited last year - a bombing incident that killed two soldiers and a separate event in which a police officer died - both of which were said be the work of IRA terrorists. Craigavon, where the constable was killed, is about 15 miles from the bed and breakfast in Armagh City where we spent the night last year. The area is mostly rural - cows and sheep - so conflict is unimaginable.

It's history repeating itself. For millennia humans have fought over land and religion. So it goes in this beautiful island. May the fragile peace of the past ten years reign once again.

Beat the Mid-winter Blahs with a Bowl of Steaming Borscht

I LOVE soup. Hot or cold (but usually hot), creamy or broth-y, as a starter or an entree - I love soup of all types.

Last weekend I exercised my soup-making talents by cooking up a large pot of borscht. This Russian staple isn't quite as popular here as it is back in the old country, probably because beets have unfairly taken a hard rap. How can that be? Beets are the about the sweetest vegetable there is and as a base for borscht, it is accompanied by cubed beef (and marrow bones), carrots, shredded cabbage, onions and more. When completed, borscht is thick and dense like a stew, and topped off with a generous dollop of sour cream and sprinkling of fresh dill. Add a thick slab of pumpernickel bread with butter you have a hearty meal that will stand up to any manly (or womanly) appetite.

I had made borscht only one time before in my life and liked it a lot, but beets aren't universally loved. I've discovered several "beet buddies" among my friends and if I crave them, I know a few people who might be willing to join me. As for cooking them at home - well, no one else likes them and having to listen to "ooh, yuck" can ruin a meal before you eat it. This weekend, though, the borscht was part of a birthday dinner promised to a friend who also happens to be among my beet buddies. When we discussed borscht, his eyes lit up and so (insert wicked laugh) it was beets for everybody.

And guess what? We really liked it. Even my husband liked it! The self-proclaimed beet hater likes borscht. Ha! Actually, the soup was really good and our local Whole Foods store baked me a fresh loaf of delicious pumpernickel bread to accompany it (thanks, guys!). I'll have to give this birthday dinner gift more often.

What Valentine's Day Really Means to Women

I recently watched a rerun of The Office titled "Valentine's Day." In it, the characters received - or didn't - traditional gifts of flowers and stuffed animals (one gal even received a key to her beau's house). Not every woman on staff received a delivery and by the end of the day, there were hurt feelings and long faces. (My favorite was the gal whose fiance, when challenged why he didn't send a gift, told her that the day wasn't over yet and she was going to get the best sex of her life that night. A note to men everywhere: Women don't think of sex as a gift.) The show was hilarious because it emphasized the major stereotypes of this "holiday made up by greeting card companies trying to sell more stuff and making guys feel like they have to buy something for their wife or girlfriend," as many men (my husband) proclaim.

I believe most men dislike, if not detest, Valentine's Day - not so much because of the greeting card company issue, but because they don't understand the emotional connection women have with the occasion. Furthermore, men are terribly befuddled when it comes to selecting the right gift. Is a simple gesture enough? After all, money is tight these days - is it really necessary to spend $150 or more on an elaborate floral arrangement? How hacked off will she get if you skip giving her a gift?

Fact of the matter is, men and women view Valentine's Day very differently. Women want an affirmation that they are adored; they really appreciate it when their special guy is willing to play by the unspoken Valentine's Day gift-giving rules (even though this same man may feel that the occasion is a bunch of crap). In general, women respond to the occasion emotionally - the day is all about feelings.

Men, however, view the Day in the same logical way they view the rest of their world. To have to get tangled up in all that emotional stuff... oy! What a hassle. Guys would rather ignore it and hope it all just goes away.

Finding a happy medium, where you both feel appreciated, can be tough, but it is possible. It helps if you remember each other's perspective and ensure that your expectations are realistic.

Here's hoping that you and your sweetie had a nice Valentine's Day, something that pleased you both and celebrated the things you love about each other.

A Frightful Sight at the Grammys

I'm beside myself!

Tonight, my husband, daughter and I watched the Grammy Awards, enjoying (or puzzling over) the live performances and asking endless questions of our daughter: Who is singing? Can you really understand the lyrics? What's the title of that song? You know - the usual "Clueless parents try to appreciate something that they're really just too old to watch" kinda thing.

I recognized Robert Plant (you go, guy, winning awards and all!) and Whitney Houston (she's looking MUCH better these days). I had a Lionel Richie flashback when I saw Kanye West's latest hair style. Ha! Things weren't totally unfamiliar.

But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, here comes Stevie Wonder - I LOVE him! - and then he's joined by the Jonas Brothers. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? Arrgghhhhh!

"If I were in a grave, I'd be spinning!," was all I could manage to say. I wanted to cry. What is going on here? Is it the nearly full moon? Was it because Rihanna and Chris Brown didn't show? Why, why, why? Not even the Motown performances could lift my spirits.

Oh, Stevie, you're too fabulous to let this happen. Sure, those three boys were on the cover of Rolling Stone and have throngs of prepubescent fans. It's crazy fan-demonium for them, but it's not deep-rooted talent that will stand the test of time. Stevie, c'mon, you're just too amazing to be singing a Jonas Brothers song.

I need some rest. It's been a tough evening.

My Herb Garden

Ten years ago, newly divorced with two young children, I bought a nice house on a corner lot with a large yard. It was there that I discovered I could actually keep plants alive. The key for me was to grow the plants outside, not indoors in pots. (I had a 100% kill rate for indoor plants.)

I dug in the soil: Some plants came out, other plants went in, soil was amended with Black Kow. When I needed muscle, helpful neighbors pitched in. The whole place looked better.

My favorite plants were, and still are, herbs. Thanks to the robust soil with its cow manure, they grew lush and fragrant in two large beds outside my backdoor. I cooked with freshly harvested sage, rosemary, basil, tarragon and thyme - after a time, even my children knew which was what and could snip sprigs for me while I cooked. Because I planted herbs more for their appearance and scent than for my ability to cook with them (e.g., tarragon), I sought out new recipes that featured them (did you know tarragon is delicious with mushrooms or chicken? and the blooms on tarragon plants are edible?).

I also used my herbs around the house; in my bath (rosemary sprigs and lemon slices are refreshing, while lavender is soothing) or floral arrangements. They were so plentiful that I could share them with friends. I sold the house and moved three years ago, but still have memories of that wonderful herb garden and the joy it brought me.

I haven't had time for gardening at our new place, except for a large pot outside our front door that I change several times a year. A recent cold snap . killed a poinsettia that I planted in the pot two months ago, but the dusty miller I planted along with it survived. Earlier today I removed the dead plant and began pondering what to do now. Maybe some trailing plants (or an herb like thyme) in between the dusty miller and a tall herb in the center? Rosemary might not be exactly right. Not certain about lavender, either. Tarragon? Hmmm.

I'll noodle this over for a bit, but not too long. Herbs will start appearing in nurseries soon and the memory of my old herb garden inspires me to give it a go. Looks like Spring fever is catching me early this year.

Photos by Zsuzsanna Kilián; top - thyme; bottom - tarragon

It's on the Tip of My Tongue... Oops! Not Anymore

My memory. Where did it go?

No, I didn't join Michael Phelps at a frat party.

On the other hand, I had five major surgeries in 2006 and 2007 and lingering chronic illness that have taken a tremendous toll on my memory. Add to that some menopausal symptoms and the fact that I'm not getting any younger (yeah, I know, I've whined about that already) and, well, here's what happened:

I forgot what I was going to blog about today. I'm serious! A thought-provoking topic evaporated from my gray matter without leaving any impression whatsoever. It happens often.

And don't even bother telling me your name - at least, not if you expect me to remember it. I'm sorry, but I'm going to forget your name; I'll probably remember who you are but that's about it. I might even forget your face - how pathetic is that?! For crying out loud - I was a bartender for years and remembering people (and especially, remembering what they drank) was the foundation of my earnings (drinkers don't tip much if you can't remember what they're pounding down at the bar). I'd go broke today.

Instead of blogging about, well, whatever it was, let me tell you about Dooce, one of my favorite blogs. Heather Armstrong, the author, has a razor-like wit and makes me laugh out loud. The fodder for her dialy musings? Daughter Leta, who is testament to the adage that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Moreover, Heather is a terrific photographer and showcases some of her photos ("Daily Photo") on her blog. You'll also appreciate commentaries about her dog ("Daily Chuck") and the stylish items she profiles ("Daily Style"). And be sure to peruse the archives.

Enjoy Dooce - it will be good for you. And next time I have a good blogging idea, I'll write it down (if I can remember).

Top photo by Alistair Williamson

What?! They Still Make Bongs?

Michael Phelps, dude, what happened to YOU?

Are you kidding me? You win a gajillion Olympic gold medals, your family watching from their seats and Mom was crying and so thrilled, then you became a super-human superhero role model, the idol of children (and adults) around the world - and you go and toke on a bong at a party. Did you forget that every cell phone in the world has a camera these days? Did no one tell you to watch out because celebrities (and you're one of them) get caught exhibiting inappropriate behavior all the time (scandals are about the only thing that can sell newspapers and magazines anymore; getting a story and photo evidence mean big money for the person selling it AND the media that gets the scoop); sadly, people are watching you like a hawk. You're going to be under a microscope so you have to be squeaky clean all the time. It's the cost of that ol' double-edged blessing, fame.

I'm shaking my head, wondering how to discuss this with my kids. How believable is it to say that drugs are bad for you, then try to use an Olympic record setter as evidence ("oh yeah, Mom, pot turned him into a slacker"). The only thing it did to you was make you stupid (the munchies aren't the only thing pot does to ya). Speaking of which - how many people, teens included, will blow off the "don't do drugs" message by retorting that "it was only bad because he got caught, 'cause almost everybody does drugs, especially the cool people." Bad choice, Michael, but you know that now and you're paying the price, with people screaming at you, sponsors wailing and endorsements on the line.

In a related matter... people still have bongs? Really? I imagined that they surely would be extinct by now, but I obviously don't monitor the world of drugs and drug paraphernalia. But bongs? The last time I saw a bong it was probably in the possession of some long-haired, mustached hippy guy (maybe similar to the guy in this photo). So these guys still exist, too?

Damn, I'm old.

Photo credit: Kris Krüg

Bruce, Dude, What Happened to Ya?

Say it ain't so, Bruce.

You got old, dude. Last night's performance at the Super Bowl halftime was pretty good, as halftimes go. You're obviously still in good physical shape; actually, great physical shape, given that you'll turn 60 later this year. But dude, you got all breathless.

I saw you live, in concert, 23 years ago in Miami during your "Born in the USA" tour. It was spectacular. You were at the top of your game; selling out every venue, always on the radio, an average guy from New Jersey who made it big. My roommate at the time was from New Jersey and although I thought I was a huge fan, Colleen REALLY loved you. Bruce Springsteen was God in our apartment (and Colleen was Catholic, so she really knew how to worship). Being at that show was a highlight from my concert-going days.

But you got old. So, that means that I got old. Damn.

And anyway, would a regular guy from Jersey like Bruce Springsteen really play at a Super Bowl halftime? It's not that you don't have the chops (in spite of your breathlessness), but considering the cost of admission to the gig, isn't it a bit elitist to be performing there when hundreds of thousands of people are losing their jobs? At least it was televised so we could watch from home.

Ah - who am I kidding. Elitism isn't the issue. I'm just hacked to think we're getting old. You're turning 60. I'm turning 50. Damn.

A Passion for Travel: So When Is It My Turn to Win the Lottery?

I love to travel. Maybe it started when I was young, when my family moved around the US because of my father's job (I'd lived in 11 different places by the time I was 12).

Though I got to see a lot of the US while crisscrossing the country on family moves, I didn't see much of the rest of the world. There were two trips to Mexico (the first one, crossing the border to Mexico on a boozy day-trip, doesn't really count; the second trip lasted a full week and was fascinating). I went to the Bahamas and Jamaica, but only Jamaica "counted" because I needed a passport to go.

Then, when I turned 45, I joined my husband on a business trip to Prague. Wow! Amazing. The following year we took our kids to Germany and Belgium, and last year the hubby and I traveled to Ireland. I'm hooked.

We need to win Lotto before more trips like those. In the meantime, I'll dream about fabulous places. But once I get the bucks, I'm outta here. And these are some of the spots I look forward to visiting:

* Paris
* Edinburgh, Scotland
* Italy (too many places to list separately)
* Alaska
* Morocco (Casablanca, of course, and Fez, where a cooking class for traditional Moroccan fare is offered)
* Japan (to visit my husband's "people")
* Maine
* Calgary
* Old Faithful
* a volcano (I'm fascinated by plate tectonics and such)

Any suggestions to offer about some of my dream destinations? Leave a comment and let me know.

Photo note: We took the top photo of the Porta Negro, or Black Gate, in Trier, Germany

Obama Inauguration Brings Us Hope

Today the United States welcomed her 44th Commander in Chief, Barack Obama. I watched as much of the inauguration ceremony as I could, from pre-ceremony crowd gathering to the administration of the Oath of Office, to the parade and this evening's balls.

Historically I haven't been enough of a political wonk to watch every presidential broadcast, much less glue myself to the TV. State of the Union address? Yawn - too many interruptions by legislators clapping wildly after every sentence. Presidential press conferences - yammer, yammer, yammer.

As I've gotten older, the topics have become more pertinent and of increasing personal interest, so I'm attentive. Yet I watch today, not out of practicality but because I have hope for the future. The Obama inauguration is history in the making; the festivities have an aura of optimism that has long been missing from our national political landscape.

Much work lies before us and the focus will be on our newly inaugurated president. May we be patient and as willing to be part of the solutions, as we are to be critical of the problems.

God bless President Obama and God bless the United States of America.

The Best Gifts of Christmas 2008

The holidays have come and gone, and we've moved into 2009 ready to shake off bad karma from 2008 and venture forth with a clean slate. Before we officially say "good-bye" to last year, allow me to recap some of the best gifts from Christmas - the ones we most liked, that my teenagers liked (shockingly enough!) and that friends received with the most enthusiasm.

In no particular order... My son LOVED his belt with the cool buckle. We ended up buying it from Fosterweld, which makes "Original Metal Art" - belt buckles, furniture, cuff bracelets and amazing mirrors. The quality is very good and so is the service. I ordered the buckle online the Friday before Christmas (yes, I know, I'm a slacker) so I needed a quick turnaround; the package arrived Monday, just as Chris (the owner) promised. Then, we needed to exchange the buckle (ordered the wrong color) and the response and exchange process were speedy and easy. The price was excellent, too - as a holiday special, Fosterweld offered the buckle WITH belt for only $29 (Check It Out - the offer was still posted on the website today!). I'm a very satisfied customer and my 16-year-old son is happy, too.

Another popular gift was brandied peaches, which I made in late summer using fresh peaches. The process was easy: Peel and slice ripe (but not over-ripe) peaches and put them in a wide-mouth glass jar (with lid) along with a cup of brandy and cup of sugar. Every time I added more fruit (every few days over about six weeks), I put in more brandy and sugar. When the container was filled, I put the lid on and stuck it in the fridge, stirring about once a week, until it was time to put it into jars and share with friends. The peaches turned a beautiful dark gold color and are delicious served over ice cream or pound cake. But warn your friends - these peaches are POTENT!

Some of my friends also received pepper vinegar: Plain white vinegar in which small, hot "sport" peppers have been steeped. I actually grew my own peppers this summer (I surprised myself about that - the only "crops" I'd ever successfully grown were herbs). The peppers grew throughout the summer and were plentiful. Once picked off the plant, I washed and added them to a large jar of vinegar. To mix it up a bit, I also added peeled cloves of garlic. The peppers ranged in color from green to red (the red ones were ripest and, I imagine, hottest). To share it, I divided the vinegar, peppers and garlic among individual bottles so each would be flavorful and attractive (well, as attractive as vinegar gets, anyway).

One of the best things about these two homemade gifts was the cost - they were VERY inexpensive to make and when I considered how much people seemed to like them, they earned high marks on my "bang for the buck" scale. I'll be on the lookout for new homemade (homegrown? home-soaked-in-booze?) items to make in this year.

Another great gift item was Flying Wish Paper. I'd given it as a gift before and decided to use them as Christmas gifts, but had never personally tried the product until they arrived just before the holidays. THESE ARE AMAZING! It's kinda tough to figure out exactly what the product is, in spite of the detailed description on the web site, but here's what I discovered: You write a wish or prayer on a 4" x 4" very thin piece of tissue-like paper, crumple it, straighten it out, roll it like a tube, place on a special "platform" (piece of card stock) and light with a match. The underlying symbolism may not be meaningful for everyone, but watching the paper burn and rise into the air (at least several feet or more), then slowly float as a light large ash back down is very, very cool. It's impossible to watch this the first time without your mouth gaping open. Our friends had never seen them before and all were impressed. Even my son pronounced it "sick" (teenager slang for "great"). Flying Wish Paper has become a personal favorite and I can testify to how delightful they are.

The last stand-out gift from 2008 is a Threadless "TypeTee" shirt that we gave to our son and a very close family friend (is a 20-year-old college student). Both guys loved the shirt - in spite of the fact that it's pink - because of its wit and sarcasm: "Meat is Murder. Tasty, tasty murder." The college student's mom is one of my best friends and I know she strongly dislikes the shirt, but has been a good sport (after all, her son is going to take it back to college and probably lose it somewhere, so as long as she doesn't have to look at it...). My son wore his to school today and gets to show it off to friends, including a former girlfriend who is a vegetarian. Hmmm. He should have an "interesting" day.

What were your favorite gifts for 2008? Let a comment and let me know. I'd be thrilled to steal, uh, borrow one of your ideas for '09. You know, imitation being the sincerest form of flattery and all...

Black-eyed Peas and Collard Greens for a Year of Good Luck

Yeah - I'm Southern all right. For me, the only proper way to start a new year is with plenty of black-eyed peas and collard greens, accompanied by corn bread, ham, white rice and pepper vinegar. You non-Southerners might doubt this recipe, but my good luck started January 1st, when I enjoyed this traditional spread at the home of friends. (How lucky is that? I didn't even have to cook!)

I picked up a tip for cooking collard greens that I'll be using from now on. If you aren't familiar with this food, collard greens are one of those vegetables that, candidly, don't smell so great when they're cooking. (Trust me - your kids will complain and your husband might grump about the odor, too.) They can taste bitter, too; however, when properly cooked with salt pork or a ham bone, they're quite yummy (nothing like the smell). I usually mask the bitterness with pepper vinegar, but the collard greenss Betsy prepared at the New Year's Day open house we attended were the best I've ever eaten and not bitter at all.

Betsy's secret: Adding sugar while the collard greens cook. It's a taste-as-you-go process for her and the goal isn't making the greens taste sweet, but simply to remove most of the bitterness. They were delicious and I'm adopting this trick in my kitchen!